Can 50 Year Old Man Get Woman Pregnant
Earlier this year, Janet Jackson suspended touring because she and her husband, Wissam Al Mana, are now "planning our family," she announced. A short time later, her brother Tito confirmed on SiriusXM's Radio Andy that the star was indeed pregnant.
Fans were overjoyed but quizzical as well: At 50, wasn't Jackson too old to be pregnant?
She isn't, and she's not the only mom-to-be who is embarking on parenthood at an age when life is ideally less frazzled. Traditionally, the 50s are when women are not only getting their AARP card in the mail but also guiding their children through the final phases of growing up. But lately, more women in their late 40s have been having babies, and a handful are pushing past that age marker and getting pregnant in their 50s. In 2009, when Jackson was 43, she told Bazaar that she was still open to having children. "Sure, I'd adopt. And I think that if I'm really supposed to have kids, it will happen, if that's God's plan for me."
It's a similar case for singer Sophie B. Hawkins, who, when she was in her mid-20s in the early '90s, was a breakout pop star, with a hit song. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" earned her a Grammy nomination for Best New Artist, and she kept right on working, not wanting to stop to start a family. "I was so focused on my career, I couldn't have done it," she says.
It turns out Hawkins wasn't ready until her mid-40s, and her last child, a daughter, Esther, was born when she was 50. (Her son, Dashiell, was born when she was 44.) Both were conceived using embryos Hawkins had frozen when she was 31. After having her son, she struggled with whether to get pregnant again and being able to support two children on her own. Hawkins overrode those worries to give Dashiell a sibling, in part because that way if she wasn't around when he was older, someone in their family would be.
"I am 51, and Dashiell is so young," she says. "He needs someone to go through life with, someone who's young. He may not have me when he's 50, but he will have her. I think I did the right thing."
"Women don't have to do it all in their 20s."
In 2012, nine times as many babies were born to first-time mothers 35 and older as in 1970, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the average age of first-time mothers is now 26, the highest ever. These days, one in 12 moms starts her family at 35-plus; in 1970, just one in 100 did. Health-care advances mean that American life expectancy is up, and overall, those who wait to have children can enjoy a particularly strong chance at a long and healthy old age. "Women don't have to do it all in their 20s," says Elizabeth Gregory, director of the women's, gender, and sexuality studies program at the University of Houston and author of Ready: Why Women Are Embracing the New Later Motherhood. "There are different choices about the sequencing of life, and those are things that people are having to invent because they haven't had these options before."
The CDC data doesn't yet show a boost in the number of women having children in their 50s, but Gregory expects that it will at some point. Currently, birthrates in the U.S. are near an all-time low, which means that women are waiting to have children, if at all. "There's sort of a ripple effect," Gregory says. "You're not going to have lots of women who are 50 years old who have children tomorrow, but they might do that in the years to come."
Most women in their late 40s and 50s are conceiving using donor eggs—and sperm—and going through in vitro fertilization (IVF) to become pregnant themselves rather than use a surrogate. Older mothers have a higher risk of miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, or other complications. The cost of IVF averages about $12,000 per cycle, plus $3,000 to $5,000 for additional medication. (This does not include donor eggs and sperm, which can run up to $35,000.)
Tracey Kahn, a publicist in New York, had her daughters, Scarlett and Eloise, at 49 and 51, respectively, both by using donor eggs and sperm. During each pregnancy, she suffered from morning sickness but was celebrating nonetheless. "I loved the bump," she says. "As much as I was scared when the first pair of pants were tight, I couldn't believe it was happening to me. I was over the moon."
Before Kahn could undergo IVF in her 50s, her doctor had her see a psychologist, who asked her how she'd feel when her daughter was 45 and she'd be 95. That rattled her, and she thought, When she is getting her high school diploma, am I going to be walking with a cane?
"When she is getting her high school diploma, am I going to be walking with a cane?"
Kahn says that even the sleep deprivation after her children were born didn't bother her. "The sleep part is harder when you're older," she says. "But it's almost like survival takes over. You're going to get through it."
Courtesy Tracey Kahn
On the other hand, it can be hard to admit—as someone who spent a lot of effort and expense to get pregnant—that having a child has its downsides too. Jessica Zucker, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles who specializes in women's reproductive and maternal mental health, says that she sees some patients who became mothers in their late 40s struggle with postpartum depression or work-life balance, but are hesitant to admit it. "Many women hide their feelings even more because they're afraid that people will come at them and say, 'You paid so much for this,' " Zucker says. "It's hard for them to be honest. They feel like they're going to be judged."
Even if you have your off days, don't be afraid to move to the beat of your own baby rattle, says Hawkins. "I have a few friends who had children at 50," she says. "Everyone is really happy. There is no reason to suffer. Life is short."
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Can 50 Year Old Man Get Woman Pregnant
Source: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/news/a17204/pregnant-at-50/